Getting Over My Fear of Offending

Reading about Gutstein’s “pedagogy of questioning” I found myself thinking back to Gutiérrez’s notion of equity mathematics in that both aimed to encourage students to become critical thinkers in the way that they questioned the math they learned and how they learned it. In Gutiérrez’s article, she discussed how reform mathematics may encourage such critical thinking but that it did not necessarily lead to students thinking critically about the structures of equity (or lack thereof) that exist in the world they live in (Gutiérrez p.39). In Gutstein’s article, it seems clear that he managed to create a classroom in which students were able to truly reflect on why some groups were approved for mortgages more often than other groups but more importantly that everyone had the opportunity to respond in their own way and to even question the teacher or disagree with him (Gutstein p.62).

The biggest concern that always comes up for me, as a second-year teacher, is to not clash with those I’m working with or working for. As much as this makes me a follower, I’m OK with that to a certain degree (I blame it on my family’s influence…I always had to listen to my parents, and still do to a ridiculous degree as others see it). When Gustein states, “creating a pedagogy of questioning demands that teachers be more open than we are generally used to being. And the more open we are, the more there is the potential to influence students to accept our positions, as well as possibly to cause our positions to clash with those of the students’ families, of the school administration, and of the students themselves” (p.66), I felt an instant shame knowing how much I am afraid to be the teacher that brings up contentious issues in the classroom. I remember when I was student teaching at a vocational school in the Toronto District School Board and my associate teacher was describing her fear of student teachers due to a bad experience with her last one; she told me how he had dared to talk about “common law families” while teaching a lesson on fractions (something to do with common denominators, I think). I remember thinking, “what’s wrong with that? Isn’t that what we’re supposed to do – include different types of families into our classroom teaching rather than always assuming a family has a mom and a dad?” while nodding sympathetically at my associate teacher’s horror story.

I always think about this past scenario when I think about incorporating a social issue into my math instruction. At times I worry that I will never be able to be the type of teacher that continually questions students and encourages students to question her, to create the classroom environment where students become critical thinkers. I suppose this is why I am so attached to teaching the curriculum "as it is" without much thought to how I can frame lessons with a social justice perspective. At other times I placate myself that I'm only one teacher in these students' high school careers...but the problem becomes clear if every other teacher these students have (or even just the majority of the teachers) are also as complacent as me, then when will we ever be able to change math instruction (or, at the very least, think critically about changing it)?

Any suggestions on how I can stop being so afraid?